Insensitive but well meaning friends

Once you are widowed you will find some friends try to organise your life thinking they know what is best for you. They will constantly make suggestions as to what "you ought to do". Although I know they are well meaning it irks me a lot. I am perfectly capable of organising my life thank you very much! Others almost resent the fact that you are coping and seem to expect you to be obviously distressed all the time. They do not realise that the hardest times are when you are alone...the long nights and weekends when everyone else is with their family or someone significant. Public holidays are also difficult. You usually have the choice of staying home and feeling isolated or going out and seeing lots of happy couples and families. One friend was telling me recently about the wonderful and expensive lunch she had shared with her husband and friends at a winery. She asked me if I had gone there for lunch when I visited the same town a few weeks back. She was oblivious to the fact that an expensive long lunch in a winery is not something you do alone. Another friend tells me that whenever someone asks her how I am doing she tells them I am doing "extremely well". When she says this there is a tone of disapproval in her voice. Honestly! As if there isn't enough to cope with without other people trying to pull you down and make you feel guilty. I miss John every minute of every day but I have to get on with life and make of it what I can, as he would want me to.