Happiness and grief

Something I learned long ago is that each individual is responsible for their own happiness. No one else can be expected to make you happy and no one else is responsible for your unhappiness. It is your own choice to be either happy or unhappy. Some unhappy people blame the world and everyone in it for their state of mind when in reality they only have themselves to blame. They have chosen a life of blame and negativity. There is no doubt in my mind that a positive outlook and happy demeanour will pay huge dividends in the end. None of this denies the overwhelming feelings of grief we feel when someone we love dies. Deep grief is the result of deep love and is a necessary step on the way to recovery for the one left behind. It is also an absolute truism that love never dies. You will always love that person as if they are still with you. I have found that a good way to deal with grief is to dwell on the positive...like "wasn't I lucky to have him as my husband?" and to remember the many good times and happy moments. Make this a habit. Do not think about what you have lost as much as what wonderful things you had. Sure there will still be tears and moments of great sadness and loneliness but do try to be positive and, I assure you, the tears and moments of despair will gradually ease.